Three Day Meltdown

I've been in meltdown for almost three days now, so I'm making efforts to rid myself of this anxiety that is ramping up and clouding my thinking and my work. Went for long early morning walks both yesterday and today, saw a 5:00 p.m. movie last evening and made an appointment with the friend who is keeping up with Second Seating expenses and income.
Still in fund raising mode and I am making a list of everything for which I could possibly be spending money on to install Second Seating. We will tally the two columns and see exactly where this exhibition is headed.
I do have a pretty good feel for it, but I never trust numbers and tend to return to them again and again to remind myself that things are OK. There is enough. Or there will be enough. Work hard and trust in the universe. That combination has worked very well so far.
As part of my self-therapy today, I went to my website MM Hansen Communicates and watched the video of 'la folie innocente du coeur,' that 2005 Marfa installation. Of course, it's filled with portraits of my daughters and mother and the music is evocative and nostalgic. Both conducive to a good cry. Everything is going to be alright. It helps to see something I've already done.


Text and images for the Second Seating postcard invitation are due midweek so design work can begin, followed by proofing, adding in underwriters that haven't surfaced yet, printing and finally that trip to the bulk mail house. The text for the postcard is long and cumbersome because I want to list not only the underwriters, but the companies that have been generous with in-kind. Will all these names fit on a postcard? In addition, I am working on yet another funding application and am gathering support for doing so.
Tomorrow Gonzo247 picks up the table and chairs I bought late last year and we will pick up the chandelier structure that won't fit in the back of my car. He'll cover all with aerosol art and I've given him paint chips so his table will 'feel' like the show, in addition to being a knockout.
Will also pick up a parrot pinata tomorrow from Victor Rodriguez. A month ago, it came to me that we needed a parrot pinata chandelier for Second Seating because of the growing feral parrot population that flies and roosts in our neighborhoods.
It's almost 3:00 p.m. I need to call Irma and see what she's done about measuring those huge banquettes she's storing in the space. We are putting them on Craig's List. Hope they sell and, more importantly, are removed.
Looking onward to Wednesday. I'll meet with someone I know from a big cleaning company and he'll take a look at the space and tell me how much it will cost to power wash the concrete floor. Maybe he'll become an underwriter? Trust in the universe. Then I'll meet with Marci, a friend who will help me make better use of FaceBook for Second Seating. After that, I'm getting a haircut and then will be see Melissa, the friend who will look at numbers and spread sheets with some degree of calm.
My friend Sally asks me periodically when I'll be making 'the art.' I tell her now to ask me that question.

All Covered Over

This afternoon, Catarina and I lifted the patchwork tablecloth and the painted drop cloth on to the big table and assessed the situation. Not working. Plus both the patchwork and the drop cloth are both just enormous.
We pinned a deep horizontal pleat and then a vertical pleat the length of the drop cloth so it isn't dragging on the floor and then we took it off the table for total repainting.
I'd brought two more cans of house paint I'd considered for my studio a year ago. Wicked shades of chartreuse. I spent almost two hours painting with both colors. The whole thing needs to dry. Looks a bit flat, but maybe some metallic spray paint will work at some point. I did put the patchwork back in the center of the new greens and it looks a whole lot better. So how many times will this thing be repainted? I'm not counting. Just considering colors and patterns.
Catarina sat at a table with two of the three fans faced in her direction. She worked on my laptop, correcting and adding to the invite database. ace was very hot. We drank a lot of water and stayed focused until 5:00 p.m.
Tomorrow is a mixed day. Won't get to the studio. It's time to make a new TO DO list and lay out my time for the next week. I am cancelling my trip to Chicago and the BlogHer conference. Made reservations in January, but a Thursday through Sunday without work on Second Seating makes no sense. I've been twice and hate to miss it, but my brain and heart are with this exhibition. I sure need those four days to 'move the meter.'

All of a Piece, What's Happening Now

Sometimes it's good to go back to the start of something, to remember how it was near the beginning. The second post on this blog ties in with the very things I am working on now. It's been slow and steady progress from day one.
Those oysters that my daughter Jeanne and her husband Dan and my grandchildren Kelan and Lauren and my sister and brother-in-law Denny picked up along a stretch of beach in the Pacific Northwest have been grilled and eaten. I boxed up the empty shells and sent them to Houston. Now they sit on a tabletop with dozens of silver plated scallop shells for Seating Seating.
Every day I take a giant Rubbermaid tub to a seafood restaurant and trade it for one full of oyster shells. The smell in my car is awful and the pile of shells by the side of my studio is growing. when those shells have been eaten clean and bleached in this hellish Houston summer sun, they'll surround the table as will these chairs which will be covered in more of my Hurricane Ike flood salvaged fabrics.
It is all of a piece, what's happening now.

Cans of Paint and A Brush or Two

Spent a really nice day in the Harrisburg studio. Hot? Yes, but the intense heat of an unairconditioned space was tolerable because I had three big fans blowing. And besides, I really got into the work, complete with dirty knees. The floor is something over there. That's not newspaper ink.

A couple of days ago, Catarina and I put the completed patchwork tablecloth back on the floor on top of the giant paint cloth. Ready to be painted. I'd come with cans of left over latex house paint from Trish and my own stash. I love house paint because for me, it brings a sort of freedom. There is so much of it and one color will cover another if you don't like the first or second go around.

I have no idea what the drop cloth will look like when it's 'finished.' And I will know when it is finished, only when it's 'finished'. I've been drawing on those plates and so I thought I'd begin on the drop cloth with similar squiggles and shapes and the rest would develop, once I started 'seeing.'
Started with a light Wedgewood sort of blue and then went around the four sides with two shades of coral, one more brownish than the other.
Lots of circles emerged. I guess because the brush made them so easily. Then I added two greens, but neither is strong enough and so the whole thing is beginning to look like a play on one of those 1950s tablecloths printed with checks and strawberries or maps of states visited on vacation.
If a few viewers make that connection, it may be OK. Perhaps, I'll bring in a poison green, add some black or black and white checks. Or more of that heavy brownish red. I won't know until I get after it again.But I am finding it interesting to paint away, watching something emerge and having no idea where it will lead. I will know when it's finished and it's not there yet.

More Plates. In Spanish.

A dozen more plates are sitting all over my kitchen counters, newly written on and waiting for tomorrow's slow bake in a 300 degree oven. I wrote on them in an effort to 'move the meter' and get something tangible done today. I get so irritated with myself when I spend most of a day out riding around doing errands. One can always think of another and another place to stop and then, the entire day is gone. So I vowed that after the TTN group tonight, which by the way, was pretty wonderful (more on that shortly on Rockbridge Times), I'd write all over a lunch of plates. In Spanish.
There is going to be a whole walls of plates in Second Seating and each one will have some sort of fragmentary or cryptic message. I'd written on several dozen a week ago when it occurred to me that the whole thing would be a lot more 'East End' if the wall became bilingual. So, after emailing a few friends for phrases and sending them suggestions in English, AND waiting for a day or two, I went to a library discard book that I bought years ago and found what I hope are wonderful and compelling phrases in Spanish.
It's actually becoming fun to write and draw on these plates. Never think of myself as being able to draw much of anything, but I've just plowed into this and used 'soft eyes' when moving those pens around the plate. That means looking slightly out of focus, looking at the whole space and seeing where it 'needs something.' The technique is working reasonably well. I'm not trying to make great art. I am trying to write on enough plates to make an interesting wall so folks will linger to read all the stuff and then perhaps, will just have to own one or two of plates for their kitchen wall.
Other stuff I've done today included a visit to the chandelier shop where I met with the man who will make the feral parrot pinata chandelier and the man who will electrify it. They worked out the details and now have a plan. Should be completed by the first of August.
Also, went back to Wolf Camera and had some more wallet size photos made of East End places and things. And to Art Supply to buy a 30 x 40 inch piece of Arches paper on which to lay all of these small photos in a mosaic of sorts - after I've painted on the paper and messed it up a bit. Hope it looks quilt-like and a jumbly colorful blur, until you get up close and see individual images. Kudos to me. I kept myself out of the Guild Shop today.
As I was driving today, I figured out a way to paint the edges of the drop cloth that will hang under the big patchwork tablecloth. Catarina and I will go tomorrow and move both the drop cloth and the patchwork back on to the floor and I'll take over newspapers and cans of house paint that Trish gave me and just set to work painting random stuff for a border. I have some good colors and painting a border will be a good exercise. We'll see if it will 'hold' together when I'm finished.
Delivered another funder packet this morning. Still have money 'out there.' Fundraising never ceases. Still need to get the bid for the sheetrock and painting of same that I want to do in the exhibition space. Got an email from my electrical contractor today and they've done the work required by the city inspectors. Inspectors will be out tomorrow to see if it's all up to the mark and will post their response on line. Sure hope we don't have to go back for more stuff.
Oh, also went to Art Supply today for advice and counsel. I took it upon myself to glue a reasonably good collage together late last week. My gluing, as usual, leaves a lot to be desired.
I ruined the collage with poor gluing and after consultation tore it apart right there in the store. With some lamentations. I'll have another color print made, affix all the pieces with masking tape and then have them vacuum press it all together. I should know better. Will tape all the collages together and get them over to Art Supply for the final steps. Not happy about the mess I made of a collage that was actually working. Lesson learned. Again.
Must get in contact with one of the artists making a coffee can chandelier and see where he is in the process. So, I guess that's my day. Oh, I had a doctor's appointment this morning too and the news was good and that's a story for Rockbridge Times. Off to bed.
I like to write this posts that are actually 'lists' so I know I've accomplished a few things. Of course, it's never ending. It won't be over until it's over. But I am liking it all. Very little not to like. I mean, this is why I quit my job two years ago. I remind myself of that often. Stay in the present and move the meter. And thank heaven for the flow of good ideas and solutions. Ok, really off to bed now. It's after midnight.

Oyster Shells on Saturday

Two photos. One 'before' and one 'after.' The before is the oyster shells when we first dump them fresh from the tub and the flies feast for a day or two. There are hundreds of flies at this feast. Fortunately, all this takes place away from anyone's house and the flies and whomever else comes at night sure are efficient.
The 'after' photo shows the shells that we dumped four days ago - clean and just needing a good rain and more sun.
I pick up a tub of shells every 36 hours or so and will continue for as long as this seafood place is willing to fill and exchange the tubs. All these shells will make a heck of a Second Seating tableau in September.
Tomorrow I should probably take my scale outside and weigh a colander of shells and then calculate how many pounds I have and the number of days it's taken to collect them. This is from one restaurant. I can compare these numbers with other numbers of oysters harvested and eaten. I've read that 100 years ago, folks sat down and ate dozens and dozens before soup , stew or salad. The dozen we order seems tame in comparison.

Saturday. Oh, and Dean Foods

Well, I had a morning of shopping, for Second Seating, of course. Began the morning by picking up another tub of oyster shells (They are still smelling up the back of my car. I must get out there and deal with them.). Then dashed over to Michael's for more embroidery floss, so I can stitch together pieces of another wall hanging. Stopped by Bering's for some free coffee and plate holders for all these plates I've been writing on and baking.
Then I couldn't help myself. I stopped by the Guild Shop and found ever more plates to write on as well as another old metal top-of-the-stove coffee pot and a tray with hand painted roses.

Remember those two French style chairs that I forgot to purchase in a timely way for the Bayou, Bay, Beach tableau, when I first saw them months ago at Corporate Outfitters? Of course, they were sold when I finally returned for them, and so I've spent time this week looking for replacements. Here's a potential replacement. I am sure the right ones will turn up if they are truly necessary.
In the meantime, I stopped at Reeve's Antiques this afternoon, and lo and behold, at the end of a long corridor of furniture stood a small French sort of chair with needle point sunflowers. Well, that chair was a must have at any price. Sunflowers have been the management district's icon ever since we published the East End Strategic Vision and we had that big luncheon at UH to introduce 'our vision and goals' in September 2006. Does this sound like I still take ownership of projects and programs of the Greater East End District, even though I haven't drawn a salary in two years? Can't help it.

So now I have a delicate and comfortable little chair covered with sunflowers. Of course, it's going into Second Seating. Though probably not in the Bayou, Bay, Beach tableau. I am still looking for tattered little French chairs. The sunflower chair is, by the way, an American chair from the Northeast. Perhaps from the 1920s?
This afternoon, I invited a friend over just to see and listen to all the things that are happening to make this show a reality. I simply needed to reiterate all the tasks undertaken of late.
This past week has been a somewhat lost one as far as I am concerned. July is supposed to be about getting the facility itself ready. I was supposed to hear about the permitting process and I was supposed to get a bid for installing some sheet rock in the space.
Irma has to clear the place out, the roof needs repair and I need to get a crew in to clean and power wash before the sheetrock work and the final electrical work must be installed for the chandeliers.
So, all that being said, I need to take a Tylenol or two aspirin and get myself on the walk that I didn't take this morning and then on to some collage work out in the studio. First, a detour to the trunk of the car with a colander and a pot so I can get those oyster shells laid out in back to be cleaned and bleached by natural means.
By the way, I read an article today written by Ari LeVaux about Dean Foods, the company that owns the Oak Farm Dairy plant here in the East End. I'd wanted to make an Oak Farm Dairy milk carton chandelier because this plant processes all the milk used by the Houston Independent School District and the Cy Fair District. It's a major East End plant. But now, I think that perhaps it's a good thing that Dean Foods is not sponsoring a chandelier for Second Seating. LeVaux talks about Dean Foods taking over Silk, originally an organic soy milk product made with American organic soy beans. Dean Foods proceeded to dump American organic farmers in favor of buying cheaper Chinese soy beans for Silk. Another example of an organic food business being taken over by agribusiness and then, simply not supported, even when it's clear that Americans are willing to pay more for 'real' organic foodstuffs.
I quote from the article, "When mega corporation Dean Foods acquired Silk soy milk the prospects looked good for American organic soy farmers. Silk had always been committed to supporting domestic organic farmers, and with the new might of Dean Foods behind it, Silk would likely grow. Silk did grow, but it also dropped its commitment to domestic soy.
"Multiple Midwestern farmers and farmers cooperatives in the heart of American soy country were told by Silk they had to match the rock-bottom cost of Chinese organic soybeans -- a price they simply could not meet. Organic agriculture is labor-intensive, and China's edge comes largely from its abundance of cheap labor...
"Dean Foods had the opportunity to push organic and sustainable agriculture to incredible heights of production by working with North American farmers and traders to get more land in organic production," says Merle Kramer, a marketer for the Midwestern Organic Farmers Cooperative, based in Michigan. "But what they did was pit cheap foreign soybeans against the U.S. organic farmer, taking away any attraction for conventional farmers to make the move into sustainable agriculture."
"Silk bought Chinese soybeans for years, building a commanding share of the soy milk market, before substantially decreasing its support of organic agriculture altogether.
"Few Silk products are certified organic anymore, and some are processed with hexane, a neurotoxin. The use of hexane poses risks to workers in the plants and possibly the consumers of the product and is listed as an air pollutant by EPA. In Illinois alone, 5 million pounds of hexane are released into the environment by food processors Bunge, Cargill and Arthur Daniels Midland."So, I guess I will stop looking for vintage milk pitchers and just let that milk carton project fade away. I'll get on with the feral parrot pinata chandeliers instead. For whatever it's worth.